Keep Going Mama!

Keep going Mama! I know. I get it. Mommin’ is HARD. You’re tired. More like EXHAUSTED. Overwhelmed. Frustrated. In need of a moment or several. Trust me, I know. This job of ours isn’t easy on any day. And as much as you may sometimes feel alone, believe me when I say you are not alone. And on those days when you just feel like giving up, I encourage you to KEEP GOING MAMA.

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4 : 13

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41 : 10

God is ALWAYS with us. Yes. Even on this journey of Motherhood, he is with you. He knows exactly what it takes and everything the job of being a Mother entitles. He built us for this. He gave you and I the most precious gifts on Earth because he knew we had everything it takes to perform the most challenging yet rewarding task, Mommin’. (I like that word. LOL!) I take pride in being a good Mother but believe me when I say I am TIRED. These last few months have been filled with doctor appointments and hospital visits. (Thank God not my babies.) But nevertheless it has been quite exhausting and scary. But I remember even through those storms, I felt God’s presence and his grace. He poured his strength into me and his mercies were (and still are) new every morning. That’s what he offers us. On top of being a stay at home Mother of 2, life was happening. As if Mommin’ wasn’t enough all in itself right? But he promised to be with us every step of the way. That’s the awesome part. And he even performed miracles too! Now that is really the amazing part of it! So hold on a little while longer Mama. Things will get easier. He will give you strength. And his mercies are brand new each and every day. Smile.

“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.” – Lamentations 3 : 22 – 23

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” – Psalm 127 : 3

“The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him.” – Psalm 28 : 7

Hey Mama. I included a list of things that I like to do to boost my mood. Take some of the stress off. Check it out below and pick a few things to do this week!!

1. Spend Time Alone With God

2. Take A Walk Outdoors

3. Talk to Someone You Trust

4. Write In A Journal

5. Do A Fun Activity With The Kids

6. Watch a Funny Movie

7. Relax in a Warm Bubble Bath

8. Read a Book

9. Do a 20 minute exercise routine

10. Cook and enjoy your favorite meal

Okay Mama! Lets go! Do one thing on this list right now! Then share with me in the comments how you feel afterwards! Come on Mama! You deserve a MOMent! Smile.

Til next time. God bless you all!

Breastmilk and Bananas!

So the other day, Monday June 18th to be exact, we did a thing! Alani’s first solid food!! Woo hoo! Major milestone and proud Mommy (and big sister) moment! The entire experience was just so very exciting. These are truly the moments I live for and I am just so happy and thankful.

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” – Psalm is 127 : 3

As I’m sure you’ve already guessed (hence the title haha), breastmilk and bananas was on the menu for baby girl’s first solid food. Bananas and cream is what I named it. LOL. It consists of just two simple yet very nutritious ingredients : bananas and Mommy’s yummy magic milk. I made my baby girl’s food from scratch using one of my favorite baby feeding products, Nuby’s Garden Fresh Mash N’ Feed, which I purchased right at my local Shop Rite for just $6.99. It’s really the perfect item for preparing, feeding and storing your little one’s food. I actually used this exact product just in a different color for my toddler when she was a baby. I love it and it’s super easy to use.

So now to the fun part. The actual preparation of this homemade goodness. Haha. Did I mention how much I love this? I loved making my toddler’s food from scratch and I love doing it all over again for my Lani. Of course I have the help of my Little Lay aka “Helper Lay”, the best big sister ever. I always like to include her in everything especially when it involves her sister. Okay so we used a fresh ripe banana which I also purchased from my local Shop Rite. I simply peeled it, took about a quarter of it off and put it in the Nuby bowl. Helper Lay and I took turns using the masher to mash the banana up real good. Then I hand expressed my breast milk into the bowl and stirred it until it was nice and smooth and creamy. I added more breastmilk as I went along until it was the perfect purée. Baby girl watched in excitement as if she knew something delicious was in the making. And wallah! We’re finished. My oldest led the prayer as we bowed our head to give thanks for Alani’s food. Then the moment we’ve all been waiting for : Alani’s first bite of breastmilk and bananas! Let’s just say she LOVED it and even wanted more! Yaayy!! It was so much fun seeing her enjoy food that I prepared for her. Lay and I took turns feeding her, capturing the moments and googling over the entire experience. Lay was so excited to call Papi and Nana to tell them all about it!

“Now, our God, we give you thanks, and praise your glorious name.” – 1 Chronicles 29 : 13

Are you ready to start preparing your baby’s food from scratch yet? It’s really easy! And tons of fun! Not to mention the sense of accomplishment after doing so. Smile. Your little one gets nutritious and delicious food which also teaches healthy eating habits, it’s cost effective, your baby gets a variety of textures and makes the transition to table food much easier. I mean the list goes on and on! We’re starting out with just 1-2 tablespoons once a day (waiting 3 days in between introducing new foods for any allergic reactions). I’ve been breastfeeding on demand since birth and will continue to do so. Nope I don’t pump. We have yet to use any bottles. And no I don’t have a life! Hahaha. Just kidding. These girls are my life. But hey I’m just speaking the truth here folks! LOL. So right now the feeding of solids is really just for practice because she gets her complete nutrition from my breastmilk. Yes these are definitely some of the perks of being a stay at home Mom! Glory be to God for his grace!

“I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus.” – 1 Corinthians 1 : 4

Any other Mamas out there making their baby’s food from scratch? Share your favorite recipe with me in the comments! I can’t wait to share more with you as our journey continues!

P.S. I originally started writing this post last week but Mom life gets pretty busy! Since then baby girl has also enjoyed sweet potatoes and peaches! Yaayy!

Til next time folks! God bless you all!

A New Gift!

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” – Psalm 127 : 3

Yes indeed! Children are gifts from our Lord and Savior. As of January 24, 2019 at 4 : 51 pm, I am officially the Mother of two baby girls!!! Alani Amor Frias and A’laya Amor Frias. Aaaahhhh! This still seems so surreal! The Lord granted this Mama her heart’s desire AGAIN! Hallelujah! Thank you Jesus!

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalm 37 : 4

Hello everyone! Welcome back to Diary of a Mother. I know it’s been a while…..one month shy of a year to be exact. Wow. Can you guess what I’ve been up to? Mommin’ of course! Haha. Do you remember my last post A NEW SEASON! where I mentioned these two major milestones?! Well May 30th, 2018 is when this Mama found out her baby girl A’laya would be a BIG SISTER (smiles and blushes). And oh the best big sister she is! I’ll definitely be sharing more about my pregnancy including my birth story but let’s skip to the very best part. My new baby girl Alani.

New beginnings. New joys. New purpose.

Jitterbug. One of the many nicknames I’ve given Alani so far. Haha. Her official nickname is “Lani Bonnie” which has seem to grow on everyone! Three months and nine days old to be exact and she seems to be growing at the speed of lightening. Oh she’s such a joy! She’s so sweet and oh so funny. How could someone this little have so much personality? Smile. The fact that my family and I get to experience this magic all over again is truly nothing but God’s grace. I’m still in awe watching A’laya, who is now 3 years old, grow. Motherhood is truly the purest reflection of God’s grace. These girls are my entire world.

“I always thank my God for you because of his grace given you in Christ Jesus.”- 1 Corinthians 1 : 4

What is it like being a Mother of two baby girls? Busy! Very very busy. LOL. But most of all BLESSED. See it’s those moments that take my breath away that tops the frustrating and exhausting ones. I stare at my baby girls and wonder what exactly did I do to deserve such beautiful, happy and healthy children. To God be ALL the glory because he is the reason I get to experience such joy. And Mama on those frustrating and exhausting days, repeat this to yourself : “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”. All things Mama! You got this! Smile.

Please stay tuned to Diary of a Mother! I have so much in store for you! I can’t wait to share some super exciting news about my toddler! Big things are happening!

In the meantime, check us out on Instagram!

https://www.instagram.com/_diaryofamother/

https://www.instagram.com/little_miss_alaya/

Til next time! God bless you all!

A NEW SEASON!

spring flowers

Life is just so amazing.  Isn’t life just amazing?  Yes all of it.  The ups, downs, joys, sorrows, laughter and tears.  Life itself is just simply AMAZING.  The most amazing thing about it is the changing of the seasons.  After what may seem like the longest winter ever there always comes spring.  Then of course everyone’s favorite : summer.  Eighteen days til summer….are you excited?!  Wintertime is actually my favorite but I must say I am looking forward to beach days with my mini!  However, I didn’t come to talk about any of these lovely seasons because with Christ any given moment of any day can be A NEW SEASON.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” – 2 Corinthians 4 : 17 

That my friend is the true beauty of this life.  The power of Christ to create NEW in the blink of an eye.  I am truly humble and extremely grateful to share that I am in the SEASON OF FRUITFULNESS.  HALLELUJAH!  GLORY BE TO GOD!  I am in a season where all of my faith, obedience, prayers, studying the word, and sharing the gospel are starting to pay off.  I am watching my Lord and Savior fulfill his promises for me one after another.  It’s all happening right before my eyes.  WOW.  I am so overwhelmed with gratitude.  Words can’t even describe exactly what I’m experiencing.  I just know I owe it all to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.  That person is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither — whatever they do prospers.” – Psalms 1 : 1 – 3 

Yields its fruit in season….whatever they do prospers.  THE SEASON OF FRUITFULNESS!  Hallelujah!  Thank you Jesus!  Major things are happening in my life right now.  Just in the month of May alone!  And to think God isn’t finished!  May 21st, 2018 and May 30th, 2018 (smiles and blushes) are dates that marked two milestones for me.  Two NEW BEGINNINGS.  I know I know I’m clearly beating around the bush but what fun would it be to share all the greatness in one post?!  Haha.  Please stay tuned because I will be sharing all the details in my future blogs.  I’m just so ecstatic about what God is doing in my life right now.  In my family’s life.  He truly makes all things new.  He gives new chances every second of the day.  New beginnings.  New joys.  New purpose.  He truly deserves all the praise and honor.

I do hope and pray that if any of my readers are not in your season of fruitfulness just yet that you keep up the good fight.  Continue to press on.  Don’t grow weary of doing good!  Continue to pray, praise, study your word, share the gospel, remain obedient and COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS.  See the enemy will have you pointing out every little thing that is wrong instead of looking at all the things that are right.  Everyone has a season of fruitfulness and sometimes we just don’t stop to smell the roses.  So be thankful at all times and through all seasons, appreciate the little things and stop and smell those roses folks!  Remember that no matter what season you are in, God is going to use you.  Everything is for his glory.   Til next time.  God bless you all.

Happy 6 months.

balloon

Wow!  Six months ago today I launched this blog website Diary of a Mother.  August 27th, 2017 to be exact.  My baby girl turned 19 months on that day and my very first blog post was 19 Months.  I get so excited about my blog.  It’s my baby.  It’s all mines.  It’s a glimpse inside of my heart.  Diary of a Mother is so much more than just blogging for me.  It is me living out my purpose and my passion.

“But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” – Exodus 9 : 16

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”

The Holy Spirit, my baby girl and my Mother are my inspirations behind the creation of Diary of a Mother.  The idea to create my own blog website was placed in my spirit shortly after I became a Mother and the urge to do so became stronger and stronger and stronger.  I’ve always always ALWAYS loved writing.  I love expressing myself in words.  It is my creative outlet.  I have journals for days from when I was a kid up to this very day.  LOL.  However, once I entered the amazing world of Motherhood every thing changed for me.  Granted I still loved writing but now I had a greater purpose to do so.  I wanted to write to and for other Mothers.  I wanted to share the goodness of The Lord.  I wanted to write and leave something for my baby girl to read, admire and be inspired by later on in her life.  I wanted to share with the world my diary of a Christian Mother.

“But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria and to the ends of the earth.” – Acts 1 : 8

“For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.” – Romans 8 : 14

Ultimately the Holy Spirit is what motivated me to finally create my blog website and the number one reason why I chose to share my life experiences with the world.  Everything I do is for my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  Everything.  I aim to bring the glory to God in all areas of my life.  It is my duty as a woman of God to share the gospel.  It pleases Christ when we do so.  I most certainly want to please him.  I want to obey his commands and I want to share all the good news with as many people as possible.  On August 27th, 2017 my daughter and I visited a church close to our home.  On that particular day there was a guest speaker who spoke about the many ways in which we can worship Christ.  At that very moment, I knew writing was a form of worship for me and it was time to start my blog.  I created Diary of a Mother that evening.

“He said to them, Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation.”  – Mark 16 : 15

“Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done.” – Psalms 105 :

“This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” – John 15 : 8

This brings me to my passion.  My passion to help people in any way, shape or form.  I want to encourage, uplift, inspire, motivate and just simply put a smile on someone’s face.  It brings me joy knowing that I can touch someone in some way by blogging and sharing my personal experiences as a Mother and Woman of God.  And for this I say THANK YOU.  Thank you to every single person who views my blog posts.  I am truly grateful for all of the views, likes, comments, shares, text messages, emails, followers and DMs.  Words can not express my gratitude and I am a bit overwhelmed by the feedback.  It’s truly an amazing feeling.  I have so many great things in store for my blog and I pray that everyone sticks around to embark on this journey called life with me.  To God be the glory!  HAPPY 6 MONTHS DIARY OF A MOTHER!

May God bless you all.

Mi Amor

cropped-alaya-25.jpg

Let me tell you about my beeeesssst friend!  My stinky!  My baby girl!  Yes I get excited when I talk about my baby bop.  (And yes I have an endless amount of nicknames for her.)  LOL!  A’laya Amor best known as “Little Lay”.  Papi’s favorite is “Poochie Pie”.  Let me add that he created his very own Poochie Pie lullaby when she was a newborn and would rock her to sleep to it daily.  Well let’s just say she now knows the song by heart and to this very day will fall right to sleep when him or I sings it to her.  Smile.  She lights up our entire world.  Our baby girl is truly heaven sent!

“Children are a heritage from the Lord, offspring a reward from him.” – Psalms 127 : 3

Motherhood.  A joy I can never begin to explain.  I’m so very thankful for and humbled by this amazing gift.  The Lord blessed me with the most amazing, sweetest and beautiful girl in the world.  Since the moment she was born my stinky was smiling and she never stopped.  Always always ALWAYS happy and smiling.  She can turn anyone’s bad day right around.  She amazes me at how fast she’s growing and learning.  I can hardly believe she’s 2 years old already!  Yes as of January 27th we have a 2 year old.  Sssshhh.  Don’t you dare say those words (terrible twos)!  Haha.  Her vocabulary is literally growing by the second.  And my baby girl can already count to 10!! Yaaayyy!  She knows her colors and her shapes too!  Smile.  Yes I’m an extra super duper proud Mama.  I mean of course I am!  She’s my biggest blessing!  By the way, we celebrated her 2nd birthday at New Jersey’s Adventure Aquarium and it was awesome.  Baby girl had a BLAST.  Check it out if you’re ever in the area : https://www.adventureaquarium.com/.

“Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22 : 6

A’laya loves The Lord.  Yes at this very young age she knows and loves The Lord.  She knows what it is like to feel his presence.  My baby girl LOVES praise and worship.  We can be at church or in our living room, Little Lay will not hesitate to sing, dance, clap and lift her hands in the air for Christ.  It is truly a sight to see.  I’m most often times in the moment right with her but sometimes I do step back and just admire her praising our Lord.  Now that makes me proud more than anything.  She prays with us and she even prays for us.  We were blown away the first time she put her hand on Papi’s forehead to pray.  It bought us to tears.  And it always seems like she picks the most perfect moments to grab our hands and say “pray”.  I’m currently teaching her small prayers that are easy for her to learn and remember.  Oh and her absolute favorite gospel songs are the remix to My God is Awesome and Say Yes by Michelle Williams.  She has quite a few that she loves though!  LOL.

I could literally go on and on and on about Little Miss A’laya.  I’ll be honest though, this Mama is TIRED.  LOL.  We spent the majority of our day outside enjoying this beautiful 70 degree weather.  Amazing right?!  Praise God for it!  Baby girl is already knocked out for the night but Mama still have a few more things to check off her “To Do List”.  So I’ll leave you with a few links and few fun facts about Little Lay.  The picture above is when she was just 3 weeks old (oh how I miss those days) at her photo shoot by https://www.yourstrulyphotographybyjg.com/ .  I absolutely LOVE their photos and recommend to everyone for any occasion.  You can find more pictures of A’laya on her Instagram :  https://www.instagram.com/little_miss_alaya/ and even more pictures on my personal page : https://www.instagram.com/msksimone/ .  Check us out!

Fun Facts about A’laya :

I started walking at 8 months.

I never used a bottle or a pacifier.  Mommy’s milk directly from her breast! Yay!

I wear Pull-Ups and use the big girl potty!! Woo hoo!

My favorite shows are Bubble Guppies, Daniel’s Tiger Neighborhood and Dora.

My favorite veggies are squash and corn!  My favorite fruits are apples and peaches!

I  am a very bubbly and bright little girl who loves to read books, color, sing & dance and spend time with family!

Til next time folks.  God bless you all.

P.s. Did I mention I am STILL breastfeeding?!  The weaning process is no joke.  Pray for me please! LOL.

 

 

FAVOR

sunflower 1

God’s favor.  It isn’t something that can be summed up in words.  It is something one must experience themselves to grasp the true meaning and understanding.  I’m honestly at a loss for words.  How do I describe this feeling?  Pure delight.  Joy.  Comfort.  Peace.  All things good is exactly what I feel at this moment.  It is what I felt all day long and I’m truly overwhelmed by it.  Tears of joy.  I’ve been trying to wrap my head around this feeling all day but I can’t because it is just too AMAZING.  Favor.  I am thankful to know God’s favor.

“Now this I know : The Lord gives victory to his anointed.  He answers him from his heavenly sanctuary with the victorious power of his right hand.” – Psalms 20 : 6

Favor.  God’s favor is when your Mother who was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer in her last treatment phase (radiation) with several weeks left to go and the doctor says that she’s finished.  That her treatment is complete.  Let me back up a little just in case you haven’t read my previous blog March 15th, 2017. about my Mother’s diagnosis with breast cancer.  Eleven months full of doctor’s appointments, procedures, chemotherapy, a full mastectomy, physical therapy, radiation, sleepless nights, hospital stays, pain and agony and she is FINISHED.  That is God’s FAVOR.

“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” – Psalms 37 : 4

Favor is family.  The unconditional love that God allows us to have and feel with one another is simply his favor.  I am so very thankful for my family.  My Lord has been granting me the desires of my heart in such a major way.  My God is moving mountains.  Do ya’ll hear me?  MOUNTAINS.  My baby girl is a constant reminder of God’s grace.  My significant other is a constant reminder of God’s love.  Our family is a constant reminder of his power.  I AM THANKFUL.  Delight in The Lord!  Everything and I do mean everything  will be granted to you.

“Surely you have granted him unending blessings and made him glad with the joy of your presence.”  – Psalms 21 : 6

I didn’t know when I woke up today I would wake up to such wonderful news and that throughout the day there would be more and more wonderful news.  I guess that is God’s favor for you huh?  Why yes it is.  When he blesses he blesses in ABUNDANCE.  God’s favor is my little cousin giving birth to a BEAUTIFUL and HEALTHY baby girl today.  I am filled with joy for her being able to experience the beauty of Motherhood and I am oh so thankful for The Lord granting a safe delivery of her baby girl.  Welcome to the world Baby Taylor.  We love you so very much.  What can I say?  My God is just so so good!  Thank you Jesus.  Thank you for your FAVOR.

May God bless all of you.

P.S.  MY BABY GIRL IS THE BIG 2!  MY NEXT BLOG WILL BE ALL ABOUT MI AMOR!!

JOY

joy 2

Joy.  The world can’t give it and the world can’t take it away.  I’m not speaking of happiness here.  I am speaking of pure JOY.  That immensely good feeling in your soul.  A great and everlasting feeling given to us supernaturally by the Holy Spirit.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.” – Galatians 5 : 22 – 23

This joy given to us by the Holy Spirit causes us to see the beauty of Christ in his word and in the world.  Unlike happiness, which is of human origin and fleeting, joy continues in spite of any hardship.  Yes you can STILL have JOY even during life’s most difficult circumstances.  Amazing right?  It is amazing and that is because he is an AMAZING God.  Joy is both a description of who he is and a description of what he gives.

“You make known to me the path of life; you will fill me with joy in your presence, with eternal pleasures at your right hand.” – Psalms 16 : 11

“Splendor and majesty are before him; strength and joy are in his dwelling place.” – 1 Chronicles 16 : 27

Joy is a deliberate act of obedience in response to who Christ is and what he has done.  We are commanded to be glad, rejoice, and shout for joy even in the midst of trials and tribulations.

“Be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous; And shout for joy, all you upright in heart!” – Psalms 32 : 11

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” – James 1 : 2 – 3

I’ve had many people ask me throughout my life “why are you always so happy?” and the answer is one simple yet very powerful word : God.  The Lord is the source of my joy.  He is the source of my peace.  He is the source of my strength.  The reason why I can smile and say “Thank you Lord” with pure joy in my heart and soul even on my worst day.  Or at least what I may seem to think is my worst day.  LOL.  I say all of this to say : CHOOSE JOY.  Or in other words : CHOOSE CHRIST.  He’s awesome.  He’s faithful.  He’ll never fail you.  And his joy is everlasting.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit”.  – Romans 15 : 13

May God be with you all.

P.S.  Just in case you didn’t know.  The picture above is the character Joy from Disney and PIXAR’s movie Inside Out.  She’s lighthearted and a big fan of laughter and chocolate cake.  She sees life’s challenges as opportunities and the sad bits as hiccups on the way leading back to something great.  Smile.  I think Joy is kind of cool.  Be blessed folks!

HARVEST

harvest

You reap what you sow.  Of course we’ve all heard the famous and oh so cliché saying but what exactly does it mean to you?  Some may look at it in a worldly sense while others like myself interpret it from a Christian perspective.

“Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked.  A man reaps what he sows.” – Galatians 6 : 7

Some may think of the saying “you reap what you sow” in a negative manner only, however, it can be very positive.  Extremely positive.  It is a promise of blessings for sowing which is good.  A promise to reap eternal life when sowing to please the Spirit and not the flesh.

Whoever sows to please their flesh, from the flesh will reap destruction; whoever sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life.  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6 : 8-9

LET US NOT BECOME WEARY IN DOING GOOD!

“Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.” – 2 Corinthians 9 : 6

“A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.” – Proverbs 11 : 25

What are you sowing this season?  Are you sowing love?  Kindness?  Joy?  The fruits of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  You sow love.  You reap love.  You sow kindness.  You reap kindness.  You sow joy in others and you will most certainly reap that joy within yourself.  Pick one of these fruits and sow them into three people this week.  Then pick another and sow it into another three people next week.  Do good intentionally.  Refresh others and you will be refreshed.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love; joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.  Against such things there is no law.”  – Galatians 5 : 22 – 23

My dear grandmother (may she continue to rest in sweet heavenly peace) planted a seed in me many years ago.  A seed of faith in our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  I am so thankful for this.  I am so thankful for her.  She helped to water and nurture this seed throughout my life helping me to grow into the Woman of God I am today.  As I grew older, I began to water and nurture this seed myself.  I have now planted this same seed in my baby girl and I will water and nurture it as long as I am here on this Earth.  It is my job.  It is my honor.  It is my purpose as a Mother.  I pray as she grows older that she will began to water and nurture her own seed as well and then take that seed and plant it in someone else.  Everything is for God’s glory.  EVERYTHING.  And we most certainly reap what we sow.

Harvest.

May God bless you all.

 

March 15th, 2017.

hope

I don’t know where to start or even how to but….here it goes.  March 15th, 2017.  I don’t remember the weather that morning.  To be honest some of it (well things like the weather) is a blur.  I do remember certain details though.  These details that will never leave my mind.  Permanently sketched in my heart.  My Mom picked me up and we headed to her appointment at Lourdes Medical Center.  Laughter.  Jokes.  Playing gospel music.  Singing along.  The usual.  We pulled into the parking lot and I remember us praying before we got out of the car.  We registered.  Waited in the waiting room for my Mother to be called to the back.  She mentioned to me that she wanted me to go in the back with her and I told her I hope that I would be able to but I figured it may be against their policy.  It was.  So she had to go back alone.  I remember smiling at her, telling her I love her and that I would be right there waiting for her.

So I waited.  And waited.  And waited.  I sat in the waiting room waiting for the results of my Mother’s biopsy.  I remember having a conversation with a lady that sat across from me in the waiting room.  We talked about my daughter.  My niece.  My Mother.

I kept checking the time.  They told me an approximate amount of time that the procedure would take so I made a mental note of a time that she should be finished around.  I took a walk to the café.  I had a salad.  I did everything.  A bunch of nothing really….just trying to pass the time by.

By this time it was around the time that my Mother should be finished.  So I sat there and waited, looking up every 5 minutes wondering where this nurse was at.  She should be coming out to speak with me at any moment.  Then there she was.  Standing right in front of my face.  She asked me to come to the back with her.  She said my Mother was asking for me.  She didn’t prepare me for what I was walking into but as soon as I walked into the room I immediately began to comfort my Mother.  She was crying.  She was in pain.  My head is spinning at this point but I won’t let my Mother see it.  I have to be strong for her.  Okay so what is going on.  No one is saying anything.  (Yes I left out certain details for my Mother and family’s privacy.  The things I am sharing my Mother was kind and brave enough to allow me to share.)  I needed someone to tell me something.  Someone please tell me something.  Then the professional asked to speak with me in the hall.

I remember her telling me how big the tumor was in my Mother’s left breast.  I remember me asking her did she think it was cancer because for some reason she had yet to say.  She said it was really no doubt in her mind that it was indeed cancer.  I asked her did she tell my Mother.  And she said no.  She thought it would be a good idea for me to tell her.  I remember her hugging me.  Then I remember telling her I needed to step outside and to please tell my Mother I would be right back.

I couldn’t breathe.  I could barely stand up.  I don’t know how I walked outside.  I don’t know how I dialed numbers.  I don’t know how I managed to do anything from that point on.  The first person I called was my significant other, Allen.  I don’t really remember what he said because all I can remember is me screaming and crying.  The second person I called was my sister, Ayesha.  And I can’t remember what I said because all I could hear was my sister screaming and crying asking me was our Mother going to die. And then silence.

Meanwhile, my Mother later told me that she knew something was wrong when I didn’t come back into the room right away.  She said she knows her daughter.  After speaking with several doctors and nurses, scheduling appointments amongst other things, it was time to head home.  I remember me walking down the hall with my arms wrapped around my Mother and we didn’t even walk a few footsteps before she asked me what did they say.  My Mother asked me did she have cancer and I had to tell her yes.  (I’m going to fast forward a little bit because if I don’t I may not be able to finish this post.  Writing it is even more difficult than I thought it would be.)

I remember walking to the car and my Mom almost collapsing, crying and saying she wanted her Mother.  Nana.  Yeah.  We needed Nana right now.

The ride back to my place was…I don’t know.  I remember silence.  I remember small talk just to keep it from being dead silent.  I wasn’t sure what to say.  She asked me where my sister was and I told her she left work and was meeting us at my place with Di’or (my niece).  I remember calling my Uncle Tee per my Mother’s request on the ride home.  I remember walking into my place and Allen immediately hugging my Mother.  Then we made her comfortable….as comfortable as she could be at this moment.  My precious baby girl got right on the couch with her Nana, laid down and cuddled up under her.  She’s a smart little girl.  She didn’t know what was wrong but she knew it was something.  She seen the tears.  My sister, my niece, my daughter, Allen and I spent that day (and everyday forward) comforting my Mother.  And trying to make sense of what just happened.

March 15th was a Wednesday and that night, Thursday night and Friday night I don’t remember sleeping.  At all.  I stayed up all night researching everything there was to know about breast cancer.  Allen stayed up with me.  Every single night.  The love and support he’s shown is….pretty amazing to say the least.  I am thankful for him.  That Saturday we all went to church.  Our church.  I remember it being a guest speaker that day and I spoke to that Pastor after the service.  I shared with him about my Mother’s diagnosis.  He immediately began to pray.  And he looked me right in the eye and said to me “Your Mother will not die”.  And guess what?

I BELIEVED IT.

It was a while before my normal sleep pattern came back.  It was a good 3 or 4 weeks before I can remember having a full night’s rest.  For a moment it felt like the walls were closing in on me.  It felt like I was suffocating.  I was a Mother.  And my Mother had cancer.  How do I care for my Mother and be a Mother.  How can I be the absolute best at both?  How Keisha?  How?  Why have you yet to figure it out?  That’s because I couldn’t figure it out.  It wasn’t in my power to.  For a moment I almost forgot.  I almost forgot who was really in control here.  It wasn’t me.  Or these doctors.  Or even my Mother.  It was and still is our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.  He said that in our weakness we are made strong!  He said that he would NEVER leave us or forsake us! That he would comfort the brokenhearted.  That we can do ALL things through CHRIST who strengthens us!

“I can do all this through him who gives me strength.” – Philippians 4 : 13

I have to say, my Mother is a trooper.  I never met a woman stronger than her.  She has shown tremendous strength, hope and courage through this journey.  She has inspired me beyond what she can even imagine.  An inspiration to me and so many others.  I know you’re reading this Mama and I just want to tell you that you’re amazing, I love you dearly and please keep fighting.  Victory is yours.  And you will never fight alone.

August 7th marked THE END of her chemotherapy treatment.  Yes the very last one.  I remember walking out of one of her treatments with her one day at Cooper.  She laid her head on my shoulder and with tears in her eyes she thanked me for being there for her.  She said she didn’t know what she would do without me.  I told her it was my honor to be right by her side through it all.  And that at times I wish there was so much more I could do to help.  September 18th was my Mother’s mastectomy.  The surgery itself went very well and she is recovering gracefully.  She continues to fight to this very moment.  I’ve watched her faith in Christ and her relationship with him grow tremendously.  What a beautiful thing to witness.  I know that he is walking side by side with my Mother and giving her the strength she needs to conquer cancer.  Her journey isn’t over but I would like to say the worst parts are.

“So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God.  I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” – Isaiah 41 : 10

I never knew heartache until I watched my Mother battle breast cancer.  I knew the power of God but not to this extent.  These past six months The Lord has truly shown my family his love, grace and mercy in the most supernatural and divine way.  I am grateful.  I am humbled.  And we are loved.  I’m so thankful for the people who have shown their love and support to my Mother and our family.  I’m thankful for our amazing treatment team that God has blessed us with at Cooper University Health Care.  Dr. Loveland-Jones is truly heaven sent.  And to those of you reading this post please be encouraged in The Lord.  Please know that whatever it is you may be battling that you can overcome and have VICTORY.  Do not give up.  Even on your darkest days please know that The Lord is with you.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  Cry out to him.  He will strengthen you.  His Holy Spirit will fill you with joy, love and peace.  Yes you can still have joy in the midst of a storm!  You can still have peace knowing that God will go before you and make all of your paths straight.  And always remember that absolutely nothing can separate us from God’s precious love.

May God be with you all.

P.S. There will be VICTORY after this!